Thursday, August 16, 2012

How to Overcome Euro-spendo-phobia: A Conversation with the Doctor

Dear doctor,
I am writing this note from Berlin, Germany. My question is: ‘After coming to Europe I face up a very serious psychic problem. Let me elucidate it. Whenever I go to any supermarket to purchase stuffs, I perceive everything in Indian rupees. When I wish to buy a spoon, its rate is 1 euro, but my mind is calculating the price in Indian currency that equals to 70 rupees. Do you think I should buy a simple ‘chammach’ for 70 rupees? Its really crazy, na? When I want to have a cup of coffee or tea the rate in India rupee equals to more than 100 Rs! Do you think I am mad to have a cup of coffee/ tea for such a merciless price? So I am compelled to share my coffee or tea with my friend, if I buy it. We add ‘the free milk’ and ‘sugar’ more to make it two cups or three. So we can at least manage.  When it comes to the drinking water, you know, I have to spend more than 90 rupees for a one litter bottle of mineral water! Leave this all, if I need to go for pissing I need to pay them Rs.70! What a pity! So in such instances I am compelled to come back home unwillingly from any place and do it in my hostel only. It affects my body.

When I need to travel, for a day-ticket its 7 Euro, but in Indian rupees its more than 500! This 500 is enough for me to get an annual bus ticket from APSRTC. So I am compelled to travel without ticket or avoid any journey and to sit idly at my room always. It increases my body pressure and I become more lonely. The most miserable part of the story is recently I went to a museum with my friends, and when I found the entry ticket cost is 8 euro, I was calculating it into Indian rupees and it is equal to Rs. 500. Dr, do you think I am mad enough to go inside of the museum to see the older uninteresting stuffs spending easily that 500 Rs? So I felt a head ache and sat outside waiting for my friend coming out. Hence I wasted 5 hours just looking at the sky above. But the interesting part of this miserable story was I realized that I could also write poems, I attach that poem with the letter, after reading this note, you read that poem and send me some compliments.

I am half dead now, because of this problem I can’t buy anything. For our easily available banana, I have to pay Rs. 160! For tomato its more than 200, leave it all, for a smoke I need to pay 450 Rs for a pack! I am in a very desperate condition. You know I usually cut my hair once in two months, if it is not done in a month. Don’t like to grow my unwanted hair so long. I usually go to the cheapest available place to do this and bargain for a less price. Last time before coming here I gave 15 rupees for cutting hair from traditional cutting practitioner. (actually he deserved Rs. 10 I would say!) I had not cut my hair before coming to Berlin, so I went a hair beautification shop, but I did not enter into the shop, I saw the price from a board they kept outside. It is 20 euro. I said I have that problem of converting everything in Indian rupees, so when I did it I saw it was more than 1400 Indian rupees! Do you think I am such a stupid to go and sit before him? I was wondering I have that 1400 in my hand, then I can easily manage cutting hair for lifetime.
And seriously the moment I was very happy, was when I went to a 'Wishing Well' with my friends, I saw millions of euros submerged in the water, I thought everything is euro, but all are 'coins', so I donated one Indian Rupee coin and wished my dream (sorry, I wont say what I wished, its a secret), I think it also related to the problem I am explaining to you. 

Dear doctor, I am in a great blight condition and day by day my life becomes grimy. So I expect your earliest response to how I can overcome these troubles. Doctor, I have some doubts. Is it a health problem? If it not then, what is it?  Is it curable? I will be very happy if you give me a quick response, still then I can’t eat anything properly. From next year my other friends also may come to Europe, so your reply will be added benefit for those friends also.
Thanking you


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Dear friend,


I read your letter very carefully and interestingly. Your note is not complete, but from the description I guess it’s a serious symptom of a psychic disorder called Eurpspendophobia. This disorder is termed in different names in different places. In Europe except Britain it is called eurospendophobia and in Britain its Poundspendophobia. In most of the American countries it is termed as dollerospendophobia. This symptom largely was seen in India after the massive migration of the people to gulf countries. It was seen specifically in the northern part of Kerala and doctors called this physic disorder as dinar-spendo-phobia. Later in southern part of Kerala, when people started migrating to Canada and other American countries, another disorder but with the same symptoms was seen, doctors termed it as dollerospendophobia. Anyway there is nothing to worry about it. With some practical exercises, this disorder could be easily recovered. For a better understanding I also explain how I overcame this symptom when I went to England for my research purpose. So this answer is a little autobiographical also.

What I was saying is that once I was sent to England from my University after getting Madam Curie scholarship. I was caught by this psychic disorder called Poundspendophobia. I was getting more than 3000 but this phobia compelled me to not spend any pound for a long. I wanted to visit a lot of museums, amusement parks, party, film festivals, clubs, but I could not do. I felt that somebody was pulling me behind and every time I went to the museums and other better destinations only to come back unhappily. In such a miserable condition, I paused my research and did some social research on how to overcome this health and psychic problem. My findings are given below, and I guess, you can also adopt most of the solution I implemented. After applying these all, I completely recovered from this phobia. 

1. European countries are blessed with plenty of water resources like lakes and rivers. But you will not find out any common drinking pipe system there as we find it in India. You need to spend some euro for buying for bottles. As you wrote in the note, for a litter of mineral water you have to give more than 90 rupees! When I faced the same situation in England, I would always try to not drink a single drop of water for along. So I also found a new way of endurance. (I have published a book based on this experiment of survival). A healthy (wo)man needs not much water as we usually read in newspaper and other research findings. All these researches are coming from the vested interested parties who want to sell their water bottles for a high price. By doing this you can also positively reject this hegemonic ideas of the capital society. The other method is you can use the tape water for drinking purpose. People are using the tape water to prepare coffee, tea and cooking, but who advise you to not drink it? Here again, I suspect the above mentioned capitalist hegemonic ideology has been worked out to prevent us to not drink the tape water. Remember, you are struggling against the dominant ideology with your own act. In my analysis this hegemonic culture also produces a new notion of purity and impurity. If we use the same tape water for cooking, coffeeing and teaing, then you can also use it for drinking. So I think using this method you can easily overcome the problem of drinking water. Coffee and tea are the products of capitalism. The over consumption of both are taught by the late capitalist society. Better is to read all the research papers which find both coffee and tea are very harmful to our metabolic functions of body. The two dreadful nicotine contents of coffee and tea may cause us dangerously and it may take us even to death. Why should we put a cobra around our shoulder deliberately? The other studies have been assessed that these two capitalist drinks are more harmful than alcohol. So think twice before you have tea or coffee.


There is nothing danger than serving milk every day. In naturopathy, milk is not at all ideal nutrition. When the industrialization happens, it was their compulsion to feed people more milk, so they fooled people renting the leading scientist and declared milk is an ideal and perfect nutrition for health. Remember there is nothing called ideals, we are living in a postmodern society and we believe in reflexivity and relativity. So the authentic versions of ideal, perfection, completeness are nothing but the re-production of the hegemonic vocabulary. So here you can successfully prevent all these propagandas by avoiding milk. And what is exactly this milk? Milk is a birth right of a calf. And nobody has entertained to snatch the right of an animal by dirking his/her dutiful and necessitate right of having its mother’s breast milk. You can also join the animal right movement by declaring your solidarity to not consume the milk. And still you want to drink it, and then you can elaborate your method of sharing. Every time when you go to the shop, keep a secret glass with you, and order a coffee/ tea, then take your secret glass and pour more milk into it. By doing this you can get more milk for a less amount, (but still I advice to not go for this)

2.      You have also mentioned the public comfort stations are very expensive and you have to pay at least Rs. 70 for a going. It is actually very easy to solve this issue. Firstly if you practice how to reduce the drinking water so, you can also successfully reduce going to the toilet several times. If you are travelling anywhere, you try to not drink a single drop of water, so you can prevent going to the toilet. Most of the European countries successfully utilize the human waste for industrial purpose, they collect it massively and produce biogas. They are using our ‘unproductive’ waste and increasing their income. And instead of giving us our rightful money back they are paying from us. Quite lot of theoreticians critiqued the exploitative notion of this capitalist economy. Marx is still important to think about. Here we are a labour class, producing our ‘surplus’ amount and giving to them without getting anything, but paying to them instead. It’s a very naked exploitation and you can also conduct some protest against the unnatural utilization of labour and money. The other way to avoid this is, in most of the European countries there are some bushes called Common Floss Flower and small plants are seen. Studies reveal European countries maintain forestry and ecology more than enough. So you can utilize such a possibility ‘to go to nature’ for nature’s call. Here you are fight back to the capitalist ideology by watering the plant and also negating their ideology of paying for everything.

3. In my study I have found out that museums and entertainment business are nothing but the usual practice of late capitalism. It is not the common man’s need to keep the old and ancient stuff to declare their ancestry and power they inherited through generation. We must have to deny this brain storming practice of keeping the hegemonic ideological symbols which kept the lower class people’s practices and rituals invisible. In a close reading, here I guess a new equation has also been worked out. By charging high cost as entry fee, they are historically keeping away the lower class people to enter their cultural symbols and practices. So do you think it is better to go inside giving such a heavy price and enjoy the old power structures of the dominant class or keep out yourself from such ideological power producing houses? So if you are not going to any museum or tourist place means you are approaching to the culture of common man and depressed class. The lower class people will never hide their cultural symbols, actually these are not for hiding and charging money but for spreading and showing. The other amusement industries and theatre industries are doing the same.


    4.And for your questions about cutting hair, I think you need a more elaborate answer. I strongly suggest you to not cut your hair. So have to protest against the male chauvinism which bloomed inside in you. Let me elaborate that point. I should say something about the masculinity and how the idea of a masculine image, we people are nurturing in our mind. Patriarchy has done enough destruction to the natural growth of a child. This is only the patriarchal system taught us to cut our hair to differentiate from women. Hence it soon became a symbol of valour, power, and masculinity. The social and cultural system compelled each man in a society to follow a particular system to control his inner motives. And after world war second was over, then the women were forced to go inside of her house, and they were forced to grow their hair. Women had enough time after doing all domestic works, so the patriarchy taught her to spend nurturing and oiling her hair. Men were forced to cut their hair because he had to do all the public activities and the public places were soon seen only the cut-haired heads and it became a symbol of handsome, heroism and manliness. We have to awaken and walk in our own way. Here by disobeying the patriarchal way of living you are liberating yourself from that nasty patriarchal culture. Historically speaking, hair was not at all disturbing symbol for men in older days. In a research I did about the ancient Rome, I found most of the ancient folks were encouraged to keep their hair uncut. You look at the prophets, eminent leaders, and revolutionaries, they kept their hair uncut at least for six months. So for you, these six months are very perfect.  Nothing in our body is unwanted. If it grows by nature, we should not prevent it. Why we try so is because the social system teach us to do so.

I want to add more on this issue. But you are in such a hurry so I am skipping some of my research on how I could easily overcome my own eurospendophobia. If you have any further clarification, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Yours sincerely
Dr. Guna Shekharan
MA (Sociology), PhD (Cultural Studies)

12 comments:

  1. I read it well and could not resist my laughing, I enjoyed the suggested solution of Doctor. I wsih i could meet him who has done such a wonderful research and has come up with good solutions. His soltuions critiqued capitalist culture or bourgeoise ideology has stirred my mind and would like to pose some questions. let see when I can get appointment.

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    Replies
    1. hehe,
      dont worry, you give all your questions, then I will send it to him. You will be soon adorned the charming of the doctor, I guess..

      Delete
  2. After reading this post, someone has suggested a new name for this blog as "Ervadi-reading" instead "Everydayreading"..

    Whatever it might be, I Would say it was very Excellent reading...

    Note:-
    There is no possibility of getting in jail as we have here in India? Thus, you could save your life without paying anything, instead eating "Ariyundan or Gothambunda"? if you find out any such possibility, let me know...I'm also thinking to come with a "Free Visa".............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ഹി ഹി..
      ആരാണ് ഇത് ഏര്‍വാടി-റീഡിംഗ് എന്ന് വിളിച്ചു പരിഹസിച്ചത്.. പിടിച്ചു കെട്ടവനെ...
      thanks for your compliments....

      Delete
  3. I totally loved the doctor's reply. Good job Musadhique! Keep writing!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Replies
    1. സന്തോഷം. കൊണ്ടോട്ടിക്കാരാ..
      വന്നു കണ്ടതിനും വര്‍ത്തമാനം പറഞ്ഞതിനും...

      Delete
  5. a very very interesting read indeed. i can get a subtle style of sarcasm which reminded me of jonathan swift's A MODEST PROPOSAL...

    shamla mustaffa
    chambakk@gmail.com

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  6. Wonderful writing.
    Most of the scientists in my institute also have faced the same problem in Europe. They used to complain about the issues you mentioned. I donno if they have ever tried to find a solution. But the way you tried to find a solution is really interesting. Actually physicists also should have thought of the social nature of the problem so that their mind will suggest to meet some sociologists/psychologists for a solution.

    Note: Your way of seeking a solution brought memories of a book I read last year: "The No Asshole Rule".

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  7. Thank for your clock. I spent 40 minutes here :P

    ReplyDelete